Theater of Pain fanfic reviews.
(Pathetic MSTing attempt by Boss Beggerow)
[Insert theme song here] The Theater of Pain reviewers:
Ranma Saotome
Ukyo Kuonji
Kasoheto Jinnai
Makoto Kino
Zoisite
Also Starring:
Emperor Nescaro
Kappa
Nagaii
Sakura
Shrivanzella
And Trentor.
[As usual we open on the bridge of the SOH. Ranma and the others are all gathered and are eating]
Ranma: Oh hi everyone. You caught us right in the middle of trying Makoto’s new recipe.
Makoto: It’s a little thing I made to try to get everyone’s minds off that stink bomb last time. [Suddenly the red light flashes]
Ranma: Don’t look now but the agents of hell are calling. [Ranma hits the button taking us to Nescaro’s castle. Nescaro, Sakura, and Kappa are all visible, boozing it up as usual.]
Nescaro: Hello Marky Mark and the funkybunch. How did you fare with the asteroid belt?
[SOH]
Ranma: Don’t remind us.
Jinnai: I haven’t been bounced around like that since I left Deeva’s place….
[NC]
Nescaro: Well you’re pain will be complete after viewing today’s fan fic. Tell em about it Sakura.
Sakura: It’s a real flaming sack of horse shit called “Evening at Lita’s” and it’s gonna be like biting down on a double edged razor blade. Enjoy! [pushes the button]
[SOH]
Jinnai: Once more onto the shit house. [The sirens start going off]
All: Fic sign! [Zoisite hits the button and the all run into the theater. Besides the original couch there is now an overstuffed chair that Zoisite takes a seat in]
Hello. This is Vermilion, formerly known as the Unseen Warrior.
Zoisite: I’ll bet ten to one we’re gonna wish this fic was unseen.
This is my first attempt at a hentai fic and only my second fic overall. So please keep this is in mind when you flame me.
Jinnai: Well you’ve got an excuse at least.
Ranma: That’s more then we can say for the last guy.
As with all hentai fics that have come before mine, this contains scenes of graphic sex and adult situations. So, if you're under 18 or stuff like this is illegal in your area(you know if you fall into one of these situations), please stop now.
Makoto: Oh how I wish we could.
I will not be held responsible for anything that happens to you.
Put the appropriate Sailor Moon disclaimers here. You know who they belong to.
As with my first fic, I'll be using the American names.
In case you're a Japanese fan and have never heard of the American version, here's a list that might help.
Makoto: Not with our main problem.
Ukyo: Give it a chance.
JAPANESE NAME AMERICAN NAME Usagi
Serena
Ami
Amy
Rei
Raye
Makoto
Lita
Minako
Mina
Mamoru
Darien
Yuuichiro
Chad
This fic is dedicated to all Lita/Makoto fans, since all the good stuff in this fic will involve her.
Makoto: Why do I feel offended?
Jinnai: Probably the same reason I feel a premonition of doom.
Zoisite: Just kill me now.
Feel free to mail me at the address below.
Now as Metallica said in "The House Jack Built": Let the show begin!

EVENING AT LITA'S
by Vermilion

Chapter 1: A Tall, Cold One

As she looked at how perfectly the table was set, Lita looked at her watch.
Zoisite: Oh man! I gotta report to the escort service in an hour.
Makoto: Don’t start.
She knew that her friends Serena, Raye, Amy, and Mina would be arriving at any time. She then turned her attention to what was prepared for the feast that was soon to come.
Ranma: You know we might be worried over nothing. This isn’t so bad so far.
Zoisite: Tic-toc-tic-toc.
She looked at the curry, beef stroganoff, and many other dishes that were prepared and congratulated herself.

"I did a nice job, if I don't say so myself," she thought.
Zoisite: Then don’t.

She then took off her apron and set it on the counter just as the doorbell rang.
Jinnai: Does it seem like this guy is in a rush?

"Come in," she shouted. The door opened and one by one, Lita's friends poured in.
Ukyo: Gonna have to clean the carpet again.
Everyone else: Huh?
Ukyo: Sorry. Still a little messed up from the last fic.

"Hi Lita," Amy said. Noticing the smell of the food, Serena darted toward the table.
"Wow! This looks great," she said to Lita.
"Thanks," Lita answered. "Please, take a seat and help yourselves." The girls did just what Lita said and when she sat down, the quintet began to eat.
Jinnai: Hmmmm. Isn’t this supposed to be a hentai fic?
Zoisite: Well maybe the author has a food fetish.
Ukyo: That’s really reaching.

"This food is great," Serena said with her mouth full. "How do you do it?"
Zoisite: I mix a lot of drugs in while I’m cooking.
Makoto: [Gives Zoisite a dirty look]

"I just can," Lita answered. "Cooking is just second nature to me."
"Well," Raye blurted out, "whatever you do, don't lose it. What would Serena do if you did?"
Ukyo: Lose the lamest running gag in the series?
Makoto: Nahhh. We ain’t that lucky.
Serena flashed Raye a dirty look.

"All right you two, knock it off," Mina said in order to avoid another Serena and Raye stand off. "Let's just enjoy our evening here."
Jinnai: Hmmmm. I don’t know why, but I’m tempted to say something about that.
Zoisite: Are you guys thinking what I’m thinking.
The girls ate what was prepared until it was gone, save for a few scraps here and there.
Ukyo: That’s one thing that always bothered me about Sailor Moon. How can you guys eat so much and never gain weight?
Zoisite: They all have the metabolism of gerbils.
Jinnai: With brains to match.
Makoto: I’m gonna have to hurt you if you keep that up.

"Hey Lita," Serena said, "you got any dessert? After all, it's the most important part of the meal."
Lita chewed herself out. "D'oh.
Jinnai: I’ve been watching the Simpsons too much again!
Zoisite: Aye carrumba!

I knew I forgot something.
I'll have it ready in just a bit. In the meantime, you guys can go watch a video or something. You can pick a movie from my collection if you want."
Zoisite: I’m getting that premonition again….
Ranma: So am I….
Ukyo: Huh?

"What about the table?" Amy asked.
"Let it go, I'll clean it up later." Lita replied happily.
She then walked into the kitchen as the others went into the living room.
In the living room, Amy and Raye sat on the couch as Serena and Mina surfed through Lita's video collection. The two girls saw some titles that caught their eyes.
"Hey, look at these," Serena said as she read off the titles.
"Have any of you heard of 'Terminator 2: Judgment Day', 'Jurassic Park', or even 'Twister'? What kind of titles are these?"
Zoisite: Cheap film plug selection #1.

"Those are American movies," Amy said. "I've seen them and they're all quite good."
"Really?" Raye asked Amy. "Chad and I rented 'Twister' once.
I thought the effects were good but no storyline to it."
As Amy and Raye discussed movies, Mina said to Serena," Lita is an avid collector of foreign films, especially American films.
But check out what I found." She then pointed to a collection of tapes in clear boxes.
Makoto: This better not be heading….
Ranma: Now you know how I felt….

When she and Serena walked over, they discovered that the videos were hentai videos.
Zoisite: I knew it!
Jinnai: And we have plot point!
"Holy sh.." Serena shouted as Mina covered her mouth.
"Not so loud," Mina whispered angrily. "These are her little secrets. All 20 of them. Let's see what on these shall we?"
All: [Weak laugh]

"But Lita will find out. Won't she be mad?"
Zoisite: Well if she didn’t want you to see them, why’d she leave them laying round?
Jinnai: Can you say plot convience?
Makoto: [starting to fume]
"Maybe. But I think she'll get over it." Mina then grabbed one from the shelf and put it in the VCR.
"What are we going to watch, Mina?" Raye asked.
"You'll find out," Mina said discreetly as she and Serena took seats on the floor.
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, as Lita began preparing dessert, she began to hear sounds of two women having sex.
Makoto: [Looks really mad now]

When she heard this, she cringed. She knew they had found her hentai collection.
Zoisite: Which kinda follows since she didn’t bother to hide it….
Ukyo: Check your logic at the door.
"Oh no," she thought. "They found the tapes. Now they'll think I'm some kind of perv or something."
Zoisite: Nahh they’ll just think you the victim of another hentai author.
Ranma: I hope we ain’t gonna have to watch to many more of these.

She hanged her head down
Jinnai: Huh? She committed suicide?
Zoisite: If this keeps up we may all do that.
Ukyo: That’s too dark.
and was near the point of crying.
Ranma: So are we.

Back in the living room, the girls stared at the events on the screen. All of them were aroused at what they were seeing.
Zoisite: Because there wouldn’t be a story here otherwise.
Ranma: Like that’s a bad thing.
However, the video had begun to arouse Amy most of all. She could feel the warmth building up between her legs.
All: HUH?

She could also sense her lust taking over her mind as every thought in her mind became one.
All she could think of was....
Ranma: Getting the hell out of this fic.
Jinnai: Amen.
"I have to get out of here and fast," Amy thought. Just then, she could smell her own musky scent emanating around her.
Zoisite: Not much we can say about that is there?
She knew the others had smelled it too but were too entranced by the video to notice. She walked over to the kitchen hoping something there could get her off of what she was thinking.
Jinnai: Nahh to easy.
When Amy walked into the kitchen, she saw Lita hanging her head. She then asked, "Lita, what's wrong?"
Makoto: [Still looks very pissed] I’m stuck in this damn hentai’s fantasy that’s what!
"I'm going to kill Mina," Lita replied angrily. "She knew I didn't want you guys seeing my hentais."
Zoisite: Then you should have hidden them!
Ukyo: Old joke. Not funny anymore.
Not quite knowing what to do, Amy did the first thing that popped up in her mind, to walk over to Lita and hug her.
Zoisite: Here it comes…..
When she did, Amy became turned on again. Feeling Lita's warm body touching her own made her juices flow free, soaking her panties. Now feeling unbelievably horny, Amy began to whisper in Lita's ear.
Zoisite: Well isn’t that a surprise?
"Lita..."
Lita, who was able to calm down, replied by whispering, "Yes?"
"I want to tell you something, something that I normally wouldn't tell you."
"What?"
"I....I ha...I have always looked up to you. In fact, I sometimes desired you. I was always afraid to tell you until I saw that movie."
Jinnai: [yawn] You don’t need to watch any of this really. You can tell everything that’s gonna happen after a couple lines.

As this point, Lita was shocked. "Did I just hear that right?" she thought. "Amy wants me? What's going on here?"
All: A really dumb fic!
Those were her final thoughts before she felt Amy's lips touch hers. Lita was at first overwhelmed by what was going on, but gradually she got used to it.
Ukyo: We should be so lucky.

As Amy pushed her tongue into Lita's mouth, Lita returned the favor. As their tongues intertwined, Lita could feel her juices flowing just as freely as Amy's.
Zoisite: [Advertising voice] Come on down to Lita’s juice bar. Where something’s always flowing
Makoto: [Whacks Zoisite]
Just then Amy's hand grabbed one of Lita's breasts and started to caress it. Lita broke the kiss in order to moan just loud enough so only the two of them could hear.
Zoisite: Wouldn’t it be hard to control how loud your voice is at a time like this?
Ukyo: Who knows?
Ranma: Who cares?
Jinnai: Those two have always been the breast of friends.

Amy then asked Lita, "Lita, will you make love to me?"
That question pushed Lita over the edge.
Zoisite: So we can rule out suicide then.
With a sweep motion of her arm, Lita was able to clear a small part of the counter. She then lifted Amy up onto the counter and the two kissed again. As they did this, Lita removed Amy's shirt and bra
Zoisite: What is she going for a record?

and using her pointer fingers, flicked over the nipples. The sensations caused the nipples to harden almost instantly.
Makoto: [face turns red]

After about two minutes of this, Lita broke the kiss and took a step back.
"Okay, let me get this straight," she said, "You want me to pleasure you, right?"
Ukyo: [Imitating Amy] No but we won’t get paid if you don’t.

Amy simply nodded. "It has always been my greatest desire."
Jinnai: To burn every copy of Titanic.
Everyone else: [cheers]

Lita smiled and said, "I'll try my best."
Zoisite: Which isn’t saying much.

She stepped toward Amy and removed her ponytail band, allowing her hair to drop down to just below her shoulders.
Makoto: That’s not nearly as far as this story has dropped.

Her mouth then encompassed one of Amy's pebble like nipples while one of her hands continued to flick and pinch the other one.
Zoisite: [Fred Flinstone voice] I just love fruity pebbles. Yabba-dadda-doo!

Amy arched her head back when she could feel Lita's tongue circling her nipple.
Zoisite: Here it goes now, the circular motion, rob it!
Ranma: Huh?
Zoisite: Obligatory Frank Zappa reference.

The feeling was sensational, a feeling she had never felt before.
Ukyo: Oh I’m sure she must have felt sick at least once before this.
All she could do was moan between the short gasps she was now taking. While this all felt so good, Amy wanted something else, something she always wanted Lita to do.
Makoto: Her laundry.
Jinnai: Brace for impact!

"Lita..hhh" she grunted.
"What?" Lita asked seductively as she took her attention from Amy's nipple.
"I have some dessert for you."
All: [Groan]
Zoisite: What is this guy reading from Holly Body’s book of porn clichés?
"Oh? What kind?"
Amy then unzipped her pants and pulled off her wet panties. She then spread her legs wide enough so that Lita could see her juicing pussy.
Jinnai: Nahhhh too easy.

Amy softly and seductively replied, "Some hot Mercury pie."
Makoto: More like sour lemon pie.

Lita so badly wanted to taste that throbbing clit but she had an idea. She walked to the freezer and took out an ice cube. When Amy saw the ice cube, she asked, "What's that for?"
Zoisite: It’s got LSD in it.
"I want to cool the pie a bit first." Lita then took the ice cube and inserted a portion of it into Amy's love cup.
Zoisite: I wouldn’t think that would be very enjoyable.
Amy's head shot back quickly as the shockwaves of pleasure overtook her.
Jinnai: The audience on the other hand was dealing with a different kind of shock wave.
Ranma: Shock over how bad this story is.
Ukyo: Well we should have expected this…

As she could feel Lita driving the ice cube in and out of her dripping pussy,
Zoisite: I always said she was a drip.
she was able to keep herself busy by playing with her nipples.
After teasing Amy's helpless love tunnel with the cube, Lita then started to lick the end she inserted into Amy. "Hmm" she thought,
Jinnai: Tastes like chicken.
Zoisite: Speaking from experience?
"Amy tastes pretty good." She brought the ice cube to Amy's mouth, which she instantly accepted. Amy relished in the taste of her own juices. As Amy sucked on the ice cube, Lita returned south
Zoisite: The south shall rise again!

And indulged herself by darting her tongue into Amy's hot dripping pussy.
She started by licking circles around the mound until she
Jinnai: [singing] It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

ultimately thrusted it as far as it would go into Amy. Meanwhile, Amy took the now melting ice cube and rubbed the dripping water and love juice mixture all over her hot body.
Ukyo: [Impersonating Amy] Will you turn up the air conditioner please?
As she was doing this, she started to cry out in sheer pleasure
Zoisite: While we’re in sheer pain.
as she could feel Lita's tongue doing its magic.
"Ahhh..Lita!!!" Amy shouted out. "Oh yes!! Keep licking."
Zoisite: Lick it good now!

Lita did just as she was told, licking every part of Amy's womanly folds making sure not to miss a single area. Amy started to feel the pleasure building in her swollen hole. She knew what was going on and what was going to happen. She was building to orgasm.
Makoto: [Turns as green as Ranma did last time]
Ukyo: Good thing I brought some more bags.
Lita also sensed this by how Amy was reacting. She then stopped licking and inserted two of her fingers into the blue haired vagina. She smiled at how easily Amy's cunt accepted them.
Zoisite: Well if she accepted this role….
She figured Amy must have masturbated a few times in order to have her pussy accept fingers easily.
Zoisite: She’s got it trained apparently.
Ukyo: [Hands Makoto a bag]

"It's always the ones you least suspect,"
Jinnai: Except in a lemon, where you suspect everyone.
Lita thought to herself as she continued to finger her fellow Scout, good friend, and now lover.
Makoto: [Loses it in the bag]
Jinnai: Can we get a mop in here?

As Lita's fingers went in and out of Amy's second pair of lips, both girls could hear sloshing noises being emitted.
Zoisite: From their heads.
Makoto: Shut up!
The sound of her womanly liquids pushed Amy over the edge. She lifted her ass
Jinnai: Well ass me no questions. [Ukyo, and Makoto both whack him.]
off the countertop as her slit tightened around Lita's fingers. She yelled at the top of her lungs as she covered Lita's fingers with cum.
Zoisite: [singing] Come as you are, as you were, as I want you to be.
Lita forcefully removed her fingers and licked the cum off.
She indulged herself in the taste.
"Mmmmmm......" Lita brought her fingers to Amy's mouth which she accepted just as she did with the ice cube. After the cum was licked clean off of Lita's fingers, Lita picked Amy up off the countertop and set her gently down feet first to the floor.
"So," Lita asked, "how was I?"
Ukyo: Do you want the truth?
A very groggy Amy gave a weak smile and answered with, "You were wonderful."
Makoto: Wonderfully disgusting.
With that said, the two of them kissed briefly.
"Let's get your clothes back on," Lita said. Amy nodded and with Lita's help, Amy got dressed and the two of them walked out to the living room.
Jinnai: Quick recovery.
While Lita and Amy were having the time of their lives,
Jinnai: The audience was suffering.
Serena, Raye, and Mina were still hypnotized by the hentai film. That is until Lita pushed the stop button.
The three girls snapped out of their trance to see that Lita was standing in front of them.
"What's the deal?" Raye asked Lita.
"I have a surprise for you all,"
Zoisite: Hmmmm. I think I see where this is heading.
Lita answered. She then walked over to her CD player and started to sift through her discs. As Lita was doing this, the girls looked at Amy, who gave them a weak and goofy smile.
"What happened to you," Mina asked.
Zoisite: [imitating Amy] Don’t ask.

Amy softly and sweetly replied, "I just went to heaven."
The girls stared at Amy in wonder and then at each other.
"What happened to her?" Raye asked.
"I don't know," Serena said.
"I do," Mina replied. She then smiled at Serena and Raye. "I think Lita and Amy...uh...you know."
"What?" Serena asked Mina.
"They had sex," Mina answered bluntly. "We didn't pay attention because we were too into the hentai film."
Ukyo: Is that even worth commenting on?
Zoisite: I wouldn’t sweat it.
As the three girls looked at one another clueless, Lita said something that got their attention, even Amy's.
"I found the right song. Now for that surprise."
****************************************************************************** Zoisite: My god, it’s full of stars.
Everyone else: [groan]
END OF CHAPTER ONE
Well, that's it for chapter one. I hope that you enjoyed it and are looking forward to chapter two.
Zoisite: Well keep hoping kiddo.

In the meantime, why don't you mail me and tell me how I'm doing so far.
Ranma: I don’t think you really want that.
Remember, this is my first attempt at a hentai fanfic.
Zoisite: I am impressed. It usually takes a couple tries to write something this dumb.
I can be reached at:
dupontr@river.it.gvsu.edu
Zoisite: Should I get an e-mail bomb ready?
Ranma: You gotta ask?
Please put "Evening at Lita's" in the subject line.
This is Vermilion signing off. See you again in chapter two.
Ukyo: Not if we seen you first.
Bye!
Ranma: Let’s get out of here...[they all try to get up but can’t]
Nescaro: [Over the speakers] Not so fast Montozuma. I ain’t done with you yet. Since that fic was so short I’m gonna send you another one. Just wait a bit for us to pick one out.
All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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