Brain Dead 12 ½ studios in association with Filthy Whore Productions presents: Hentai Anime Theater 2,999 (and ¾) Starring: The Hentai Killer Fanfic Review Board Ranma Saotome Xellos Metallium Kasoheto Jinnai Naga Zelgadis Graywers Ryoko [We open on an island somewhere well your guess is as good as mine where it is. It's a rather large island. After taking in the view for a while the camera head to what appears to be a rather large villiage. After a couple of moment the cast members step out of their respective hunts.] Ranma: Hi everyone and welcome to Hentai Island. Xellos: If your wondering what's going on well we're all prisoners of the hentai king Xander Harris. Jinnai: And he's basically doing the old fanfic torture routine. Great isn't it? I finally get off the SOH and now…[Suddenly a loud siren sounds] Naga: Here we go it looks like. [They all enter a particularly large hut in the back.] Ranma: Okay were here. [Cut to Hentai castle] Xander: Ah hello, everyone comfortable? Jinnai: Actually I am. Ryoko: Only cause you got the hut next to Naga. Xander: Anyhow your fic for today is call One hot summer day. And now if you'll excuse me it's time to give the cat girls's their bath. [Hits a button. Lotsa buzzers and such then everyone runs into the theater proper.] NOTE: This story is a lemon. Jinnai: So's every other one we have to watch. That means it contains sexual scenes that may offend some of you. Ryoko: Just try to offend me! Reading this may cause you some discomfort in certain parts of your body. Xellos: Mostly your stomach. So, if you get all blue-balled or soak you pretty little panties, don't blame me. Everyone: [Laughs] Jinnai: Well one of us is blue balled all the time anyway. Zelgadis: Oh shut up. Oh yeah, the characters have Xellos: Been violated? Naga: At this point they probably don't have any shame left. Ranma: Just like you huh? Jinnai: I like it. kept their original names from the Japanese series. All Senshi related characters are copyrighted by Naoko Takeuchi, Kodansha, TV Asahi, Toei Animation, and probably some other folks. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------- Jinnai: Hey who's line is that anyway? Sailor Moon: One Hot Summer Day Zelgadis: In hell. It was a hot summer day in Tokyo. Jinnai: You just said that. School was out Ranma: It being summer might have something to do with that. and people were either outside at the beach or cooling off indoors. Usagi and Makoto were walking down the boardwalk looking for some Jinnai: Food? Xellos: Decent fanfic authors? Ryoko: Gonna take a looooong time to find that. hunks. "Damn," cried Makoto, "it's sooo hot out here!" Jinnai: Thanks we know. "Yeah," replied Usagi, "let's go to my place and cool off." Jinnai: Okay eight to ten they're gonna have sex by the end of the paragraph. Place your bets! With that, they both headed over to Usagi's house. The house was cool inside and nobody was home. Usagi and Makoto were all alone. Jinnai: Written by Johnny Two Time. They plopped onto the couch and Usagi reached for the TV remote control and turned on the Xellos: Oven. TV. What came on was unexepected. Ranma: It's gonna be a lesbian hentai. The television showed two women eating each other out. Jinnai: Yeah that was really unexpected. Ryoko: Evening at Lita's lite. Xellos: Half the fat but twice the stupidity! "God damn Shingo," said Usagi, "he knows he's not suppossed to watch this hentai shit! Xellos: Now now, language! Zelgadis: We shouldn't be watching this hentai shit either. Just wait until Mom and Dad hear about this!" Jinnai: They'll probably wonder why you were watching it. Naga: Too logical. As Usagi was talking to herself, she couldn't help but notice that Makoto's eyes were glued to the TV screen. Ryoko: Here it comes folks. "I've always wondered what it would be like to Jinnai: Be in a lemon that was actually erotic. Naga: Never happen. have sex with a woman," said Makoto in a sort of trance-like state. Zelgadis: She must be almost as bored as we are. "What are you talking about?" asked Usagi. Ryoko: [As Makoto] Just advancing the plot. "Huh? Oh, uh, haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to touch another woman?" Ryoko: No. Makoto asked, blushing. Usagi answered, "No, not really." Xellos: Brilliant dialogue isn't it? "Well," Makoto said, "I have. Jinnai: I never would have guessed. I've seen how a male and female have sex, but I wondered how women make love when neither one of them has a cock!" Ryoko: With the tounge. Jinnai: How do you know? Ryoko: That's just what I've heard… "I've got an idea," replied Usagi with a grin, Zelgadis: Let's get something to eat. Naga: Now you know she's not gonna say that. Zelgadis: I can dream can't I? "let's be like Ami and Ranma: Be totally useless in a fight? Jinnai: Have your noses glued into books? Zelgadis: Bore the hell out of us? Naga: They're going to do that anyhow. do an experiment. How about me and you experiment on female sex techniques?" Xellos: Oh there's a surprise. "Really!" said Makoto with a surprised look. "Sure, why not," said Usagi, "I mean Mamoru still won't talk to me, Ranma: I wonder why. I'm bored, Ryoko: So am I, and you don't see me jumping into the sack. Jinnai: That's only cause Tenchi isn't here. and this might be a real learning experience." Jinnai: Nahhh I'm not touching this one. Makoto smiled at Usagi and took off her dress, revealing her lacy black bra and thong panty. Naga: I look better in a thong then her. Ryoko: Why do you dress like that all the time anyhow? Naga: Well you try getting a shirt to fit over these! [Sticks her chest out] Makoto looked to be about a C or D cup and had and Xellos: Must have gotten confused. Ranma: Another great lemon..Kill me. Jinnai: That'll kill our pg rating. Ryoko: That died a long time ago. nice, round ass. Jinnai: Ass me no questions. Zelgadis: Do you lay awake at night thinking of these things? Jinnai: No I lay awake at night thinking about Naga actually. Naga: [Starts in with that famous laugh] Jinnai: [Starts laughing as well. Soon they're both laughing in sync.] Everyone else: [sweat drop] Usagi then took of Xellos: Are we allowed to do riffs on typos? Ranma: No we just give em the benefit of the doubt. The first time. her shirt and shorts, leaving her in only a pink bra and silk panty. Usagi's breasts weren't as big as Makoto's, Jinnai: And no one's are as big as Naga's! Naga: How sweet of you to notice. [They both go back to laughing] Xellos: Either I'm crazy or that laugh's a mating call. Zelgadis: Your crazy either way fruitcake. but boys seemed to like them. Xellos: I don't. They both looked into each other's eyes longingly, then Usagi broke the silence. "Well, let's get started!" Ryoko: Let's not. They both removed the rest of their clothes and lay on the couch. Jinnai: And layed us low. Naga: That doesn't sound too bad at the moment. "I'll go first," Xellos: It's for the worst. Ranma: Not everything we say has to make sense. said Makoto. Makoto kissed Usagi on the lips, pushing her tounge into Usagi's mouth, almost reaching the back of her throat. Xellos: Chocking her to death the end. They kissed for about a minute and then Makoto broke off and looked at Usagi's breasts. Ranma: [As Makoto] Why do these say made in Taiwan? Makoto licked the base of Usagi's left breast and continued licking in circles around and around Xellos: So goes and where she stops… Ryoko: We don't wanna know. her breast until she reached the nipple. Usagi's nipples were rock hard and. Xellos: Yes? Don't leave us hanging here! Makoto took the nipple into her mouth and started to suck Naga: They've been doing that since the first sentence. on it while kneading Usagi's right breast with her other hand. Jinnai: Seen it. Ryoko: Hated it. Usagi then noticed that her pussy was dripping wet Jinnai: Cat in the shower. Ranma: You know if Shampoo was here she'd probably kill you for that one. with her pre-cum juices. Zelgadis: What flavor? Xellos: You need to work on your jokes. Makoto was also dripping, soiling the couch. When Makoto was finished with Usagi's breasts, she headed south Xellos: The south shall rise again! to cunt territory. Makoto then placed her face on Usagi's love box. Jinnai: Sounds like a b-52's song. She parted her virgin lips with her hands and licked her cunt all over, occasionally sticking her tounge into Usagi's hole. "Oh, God!" moaned Usagi, "I've never felt like this before!" Ranma: [As usagi] Except for the other 2,569 times I've been in this kinda fic. Zelgadis: I'm sure she must have been sick before. Makoto replied, "Just wait until you see this!" Xellos: You ain't seen nothing yet! With that, Makoto took Usagi's throbbing clit into her mouth, softly biting and licking it. Ranma: That's it we're licked. Usagi shook all over and screamed as she had her very first orgasm. Jinnai: That's like the 2,000th first orgasm for her. Naga: And it's still as boring as the first one. A happy Usagi responded, "Now it's my turn! I saw this in a magazine once, Makoto. I think it's called a 76 Xellos: That's the spirit! Zelgadis: What's she doing reading magazines like that anyway? Jinnai: Do you care? Zelgadis: No I'm just trying to stay awake. or 49. Let's try it!" "That's 69," Makoto said with a laugh, "OK, let's go for it!" Ryoko: How about you just go? Makoto laid on her back while Usagi faced the oposite direction while on top of Makoto. Jinnai: There's the redundancy department again. It was no problem for Usagi to reach Makoto's cunt, but since Makoto was so tall compared to Usagi, she couldn't reach Usagi's cunt. Naga: So they decided to forget the whole thing. "Oh well," thought Makoto, "I guess I'll have to use my fingers." Ryoko: Told you. Jinnai: I still wanna know how you knew that. Makoto then plunged two fingers into Usagi's pussy in-out-in-out. Zelgadis: As opposed to what side to side? Both girls moaned in pleasure as the sensations registered. Naga: They're gonna throw up any minute then. With her other hand, Makoto rubbed her breasts feverishly. Xellos: [singing] Everybody gets the fever. All of a sudden, Usagi's licking was too much for Makoto. Makoto had her orgasm, squirting her love juices onto Usagi's face. (Hey, some women do squirt!) Jinnai: Yeah like this guy's ever had a woman. Usagi then had another orgasm, Zelgadis: When did she have the first one? Jinnai: You weren't paying attention either huh? and Makoto could feel Usagi's cunt tightening around her fingers. Naga: Okay finished? Usagi then turned around so she could see Makoto face to face. Jinnai: [As Usagi] Damn your ugly. Usagi then began to push her Zelgadis: Luck. pubic bone onto Makoto's pussy, as if she had a cock Xellos: May not have a cock but we've got plenty of bull. and was fucking her. The feeling of Usagi's pubic bone was more than enough to give Makoto another orgasm. Jinnai: Or the crabs. "You know," commented Makoto, "you taste pretty good." "Thanks," said Usagi. Naga: [As Usagi] That'll be 50 bucks. Both girls countinued "experimenting" with each other until they were both tired. Ranma: We've been tired for a while now. At the end of their love making session, Makoto said, "You know, I've got a craving for some ice cream, Usagi." Jinnai: And I've got a craving to get the hell outta here so what? "Uh," replied Usagi, "I just fininshed the last of the ice cream yesterday." Zelgadis: All forty gallons. Makoto, being the master cook that she is, had an idea. Jinnai: Something about that has me deeply worried. Makoto went to the bathroom and got two of those paper cups you sometimes see in a dispenser stuck to the wall. Jinnai: This guy deserves to be put up against the wall. Makoto then went back to Usagi and placed a cup below her love tunnel. Jinnai: Ummmm…. Zelgadis: Okay…. "What are you doing?" asked Usagi. Ranma: [As Makoto] How the hell should I know? I'm just following the script. Makoto answered, "I'm going to make some cuntcicles! All: What the…?!?!?!?! Jinnai: Oh come on! Naga: This is the dumbest thing I've ever read. Ranma: So far. We'll collect each other's juice in these cups, put a toothpick into the juice, and then freeze them!" Jinnai: Yes the sure sign of a master chef, the second grade Popsicle… "Wow! What a great idea!" said Usagi. Xellos: Says you! They collected each other's juice and put a toothpick into each cup. They then put the cups into the freezer and made love to each other while waiting for the cuntcicles to freeze. Jinnai: Well why not? A couple hours later, Usagi and Makoto both walked out of the house licking their cuntcicles. Zelgadis: I'm not even going to try. As they were walking down the driveway, they met Ami, Rei, and Minako. Jinnai: So they've just been standing there the whole time? "Hey guys!" Makoto and Usagi said. "Hey, let me have a taste of that popcicle," Xellos: What a rude girl. said Rei. "Sure thing," Naga: [As Usagi] Bitch. answered Usagi, as she handed over her cuntcicle to Rei. "This is pretty good," Jinnai: At least something's good here! said Rei, smacking her lips. "What flavor is it," asked Ami. "Um," Jinnai: You don't wanna know. replied Makoto, "Let's just call it 'womanly folds'." "You think you can tell us the recipe," Minako asked. "Why not," said Makoto with a grin. And they all walked to the beach talking all the way. Ranma: Finished? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------- Jinnai: Nope author's notes incoming. Well, I hope you liked my story. Xellos: Keep hoping. Please remember that this is my first attempt to write a lemon. Jinnai: Make it your last. If you have any questions, suggesstions, comments, or flames, E-mail me at: markr@ptw.com. Naga: Okay make a note of the address, we're gonna have to send him something… I would also like to say that without fanfics by Jeffrey "OneShot" Wong Ranma: The guy who makes me sad witch hunts went out of style. for inspiration, I wouldn't have written this. Naga: Are we supposed to be glad? I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors. Naga: That's okay. Jinnai: Yeah we know it's hard to type with one hand. Xellos: And so we wave goodbye to our friends. Jinnai: Let's go! [Everyone beats feet outta there. A moment later we see everyone gathered in the theater hut's lobby.] Zelgadis: Well that wasn't too difficult. Ranma: Yeah doesn't seem like this Xander guy's as bad as Nescaro. [The PA goes on] What do you think? [Cut to Castle hentai] Xander: Well that was fun. [Suddenly Kara rushes in] Kara: Master we've got troubles! Xander: What? Kara: I just checked the other group of prisoners…Nescaro's gone! Xander: What? [The wall suddenly explodes and Nescaro (along with the five generals) enters] Nescaro: Hello boy…. Xander: Ohhhhh shit! Nescaro: Good night, whatever you are. [Turns off the camera] [End] MST written by Emperor Nescaro (Who should know better by now) Written for: Xander Harris (Who should have know better then to let me) No characters except for Nescaro are mine, and I can't remember the copyright holders.